Fernando Alonso is F1’s greatest s***house and Lewis Hamilton’s toughest-ever opponent – now he’s fighting Max Verstappen
Formula 1 has attracted plenty of new fans in recent years, and unbeknownst to them, the whole show has finally arrived.
Netflix’s Drive to Survive is booming and an epic Lewis Hamilton vs Max Verstappen rivalry has been born, but F1’s new golden era could still step up a level.
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Still credited by Hamilton as his toughest-ever opponent, Fernando Alonso was the seven-time champion’s first real rival, he's now back
With a third-place finish in all three Grand Prix so far this season, Aston Martin appear to have the second-fastest car on the grid, with a driver some still argue is the best.
The 41-year-old has even said he’s ‘fitter than ever’ and backed the Lawrence Stroll-led team to challenge for wins soon, whether it’s with him in the sport or not.
The team in British racing green have been busy snapping up some of the best talent on the grid, including former Red Bull aerodynamicist Dan Fallows, and they believe their AMR23 has room for improvement.
On top of all that, they have a driver whose racecraft is up there with the greatest of all-time, but there's on category where he's streets ahead of anyone.
And that's his legendary s***housing, with Hamilton, the media and the FIA well aware that no one is safe.
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Stalling Hamilton
Back in 2007, off of consecutive titles with Renault, Alonso rocked up as an undisputed number one, but was given a spritely young Hamilton to deal with.
Even with the Brit’s status as a future champion, there was little question he could trouble Alonso in his debut season, but he did exactly that, ending in his Spanish counterpart leaving at the end of the season.
There was plenty of drama along the way, though, particularly in qualifying at the Hungarian Grand Prix when Hamilton defied team orders to let Alonso through for a flying lap.
The two returned to the pits to refuel for their final shot at pole position, and fuming at the indiscretion, Alonso arrived at the pit box ahead of his teammate, and refused to leave, holding up Hamilton so the clock would run down and he wouldn’t get a final lap.
It worked, with Alonso heading out to snatch pole, but he was later relegated to sixth on the grid after an investigation, and Hamilton won the race.
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Pranking the media
As the most experienced driver in F1 history, Alonso has had to deal with the media on a weekly basis for over two decades.
He very rarely hits out at them, saving that for his team or rivals, but occasionally still finds ways to let off some steam.
This not only includes ruining camera shots, but even a sneaky punch below the belt - and one individual ended up in a pool.
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Sunbathing rather than driving
In a different season at McLaren, but still equally livid with the car, Alonso was not only tired of its speed, but also its lack of reliability.
That came to a hilarious conclusion in Brazil, when after breaking down yet again, he got out of his stricken car and chilled in a camping chair, before having a go on a camera at trackside.
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Russian trick
After two years out of F1, Alonso returned with Alpine in 2021, and not much had changed.
His Renault powered car was certainly faster than the McLaren that he gave up with, but he still had plenty to get frustrated with, including the rules.
With many tedious street circuits on the calendar including huge run off areas, track limits were constantly being abused, and Alonso decided he’d had enough.
At Sochi in Russia, one of the dullest tracks of the season and worst for limits, drivers were told if they ran wide at turn two, they had to drive round a bollard at turn two before re-entering the track.
Realising the stupidity of the rule, on the first lap Alonso didn’t even try to make the corner, flying straight off the track, round the bollard and up to third from a ninth-place starting position.
It proved to be utter genius when he took the car home for an excellent fourth place, with the race stewards knowing there was little they could do as he followed their laws.
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Tsunoda ticked off
Last year in Austria, Alonso was having fun trying to pass Alpha Tauri’s Yuki Tsunoda.
It was a tense battle and the Japanese tried to put him on the grass.
Excellent car control allowed the Spaniard to keep things steady, and pass his opponent, and he still managed to stick a finger out the cockpit to wag at Tsunoda, even at 180mph.
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Plenty of phone signal
Alonso looked settled at Alpine for the past few years, but shocked the grid when he announced he would be joining Aston Martin for 2023.
It soon became clear that there were tensions behind the scenes when Alpine announced junior driver Oscar Piastri as his replacement, but the Australian said he wouldn’t race for them, and later opted for McLaren.
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As the drama unfolded in the paddock, Alpine team principal Otmar Szafnauer was asked about Alonso and said ‘he’s hard to contact as he’s out on a boat in the Greek islands’.
Any chances that Alonso’s phone signal were down were quickly quashed, though, when he uploaded a selfie with his thumb up in his hometown of Oviedo in the ultimate trolling of his boss.
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