10 innovative ideas to help Arsenal overcome Barcelona tonight

Lets face it - beating the Spanish champions at their own game isn't the answer to reaching the next round for the Gunners.

Arsene Wenger is unlikely to set his team up like the regimented defensive unit deployed by Jose Mourinho at Inter, so here are some friendly* suggestions on how to overcome the tournament's hot favourites tonight.

1) Create divots around Victor Valdes' goal and repair them at half-time

Think Paul Robinson against Croatia and now imagine he is Victor Valdes. Not the typical free flowing stuff you'd expect from an Arsenal side, but they all count don't they?

2) Hide Lionel Messi inside Gunnersaurus

There is good reason for the mascot's accommodating interior - for starters he's meant to be a dinosaur and secondly, when one of your opponents is the world's best player and fairly short, well...

3) Position the four most intimidating home fans behind each corner flag

Exposing Xavi to the most foul-mouthed, fear-inducing Arsenal enthusiasts as he steps up to take a corner should nullify those potentially lethal deliveries. 

4) Replace the fluids in Barcelona's sports bottles with San Miguel

A few drops of the famous continental lager should have the Spanish contingent lost in memories of those World Cup winning celebrations.

5) Turn the away dressing room into a giant refrigerator

Reduce the temperature in the dressing room and expect to see the performance levels of some of those sun spoilt master technicians follow suit.

6) Bribe the Italian referee, Nicola Rizzoli

Where there's a will, there's a way - and history suggests when it comes to Italian officials, there usually is a way.

7) Sneak into Barcelona's dressing-room (with plenty of layers on) and loosen the studs on the players' boots

This should see some of the planet's finest footballers slipping all over the Emirates turf and fingers crossed, doing so at crucial moments in the game.

8) Consult Vinnie Jones on his friendly off-the-ball tactics

The master of pinching, testicle grasping and all-round intimidation had a knack for rubbing his opponents up the wrong way and getting away with it.

9) Learn how to ask for the ball in Spanish

If Theo Walcott and Jack Wilshere start demanding the ball from Xavi and Iniesta in dangerous areas using perfectly executed Catalan tones they're bound to be fooled, aren't they?  

10) Ask Hercules manager, Esteban Vigo to conduct the team talk

Vigo was the brains behind Pep Guardiola's only defeat in La Liga this season when his newly promoted outfit stunned the Champions by recording a comfortable 2-0 victory at the Nou Camp. With over 150 appearances for Barcelona during a ten year stint there as a player, he clearly knows something no one else does. 

*Not actually very friendly