Holloway the comedian, Wenger the optician and Mourinho the priest: alternative careers for football managers
Last week it was announced that Bayern Munich manager Louis Van Gaal would be losing his job at the end of season due to the club's poor performances in the Bundesliga.
Van Gaal has also been criticised for his 'interesting' management style. Former Bayern striker Luca Toni recently said: "The coach wanted to make clear to us that he can drop any player – it was all the same to him because, as he said, he had the balls. He demonstrated this literally. Luckily, I didn't see a lot, because I wasn't in the front row."
Balls or not, judging by this advert for a German kitchen manufacturer, it looks like Van Gaal is already preparing for a new job come the summer...
It got us thinking, what could other football managers do if their managerial careers – like kitchen boy Luis here – went down the plug hole?
Jose Mourinho - The Priest
The 'Special One' could always turn to the Lord himself in order to feel his own worth, though arguably he may prefer to see himself as God. Rather a priest than a monk – can you imagine Jose taking a vow of silence?
Arsene Wenger - Optician
The Arsenal manager has been telling us that he "did not see the incident" for years, so maybe the Frenchman should consider a career in improving people's eyesight, starting with his own. If not UEFA-appointed officials.
Harry Redknapp - Bookmaker
The Spurs gaffer loves gambling with other people's money – usually Daniel Levy's on transfer deadline day – and more often than not backs a winner. Yes, 'Arry would fit in a treat down the bookies, but you'd probably get short odds on 'him being the next England manager.
Carlo Ancelotti - Bond Villain
Whenever he's talking the Chelsea manager can't help but raise a lone eyebrow, Bond villain-style, which would presumably make Ashley Cole The Man With The Golden Gun. From Russia With Love? Not if you don't win Roman the Champions League, Carlo.
Roy Hodgson - Motivational Speaker
'Woy is available to wecreate his inspiwational managewial team-talks with your local five-a-side team'. Any takers? Anybody?
Ian Holloway - Stand-up comedian
Blackpool manager Holloway has become famed for his 'Ollyisms', including: "They munched on a lamb. I’d have liked us to be lions, but unfortunately we had a bit of mint sauce on ourselves." If Lenny Henry still gets stand up gigs...
Owen Coyle - George Clooney stunt double
If he had his teeth done, maybe his ears done, starred in Hollywood films, started drinking loads of posh coffee and dated hot Italian women he would be exactly like George Clooney.
Sir Alex Ferguson - David Cameron's Media Advisor/ Hairdryer salesman
Manchester United's Scottish manager could become press advisor to PM David Cameron. Had a few bad results, Dave? Send out your number two to deal with the media or, better still, no one at all! If not, Fergie can always resort to selling hairdryers, rather than giving them out at half-time.