Crystal Palace cheerleaders, Man United’s grey kit, loud Frogs and the top 10 worst excuses in sport
With Crystal Palace sitting just above the relegation zone in the Championship, some fans have called for the club's sexy cheerleaders 'The Crystals' to be banned after their shows were deemed too provocative and distracting. Although Palace haven't lost a match at home since The Crystals started performing at Selhurst Park in December, some fans have likened their perfomances to 'just pole dancers on grass', worrying that they could affect the team's concentration.
We think blaming the lovely ladies is just a poor excuse, like these other lame excuses in sport…
1) Manchester United BLAME THEIR GREY KIT
The first of many great Fergie excuses came in 1996. United were 3-0 down to an average Southampton side at half-time, so Fergie made the decision to change the team's shirts because the players couldn't see each other properly. Hmm, ok. It didn't make much of a difference as United still lost 3-1.
2) DAVID JAMES BLAMES HIS PLAYSTATION
David James has long been associated with howlers, but back in 1997 while playing for Liverpool, the goalkeeper let in a hat-trick of horrors against Newcastle, followed by gaffs against Man United and Paris St Germain. His excuse? Too much Playstation. James said: "I was getting carried away playing Tekken II and Tomb Raider for hours on end." Some might say concentrating on a game was the real problem.
3) ENGLAND BLAME THE WAGS
At Germany 2006 it was the Baden Baden-partying WAGs that got the blame for distracting the England players with their shopping and dodgy hair extensions. But in South Africa 2010 Spanish sports journalist and Iker Casillas' super WAG Sara Carbonero was blamed for the European Champions losing their opening match with Switzaland. Carbonero was filming behind the goal which apparently distracted her man, but Spain won the trophy, so England need to find a new excuse.
4) DALGLISH BLAMES 'TOO BOUNCY BALLS'
In 1998 Dalglish was at the helm for Newcastle as they struggled to a 1-1 draw at Conference side Stevenage Borough. With England skipper Alan Shearer and other big names playing for United it wasn't the players Dalglish blamed, but the match balls, which he claimed were "too bouncy".
5) RONNIE O'SULLIVAN BLAMES STREAKER
Back in 1997 the Rocket was storming towards victory over Steve Davis in the Masters final at Wembley when a streaker interrupted the match. Ronnie at the time was five frames ahead, but after the naked distraction O'Sullivan lost the next seven frames and the title. This isn't a cock'n'ball story.
6) CYCLIST TYLER HAMILTON BLAMES TWIN
It all sounds a bit CSI, but American cyclist Hamilton failed a drug test in 2005 after 'mixed populations' of blood cells were found in his blood sample – essentially, it appeared that he'd had blood cells from another person injected into his body, to give him an unfair physical advantage. Hamilton, however, claimed the different cells came from his twin brother, who died in the uterus before being born. Funnily enough he didn't escape punishment and the former Olympic gold medallist was banned for two years.
7) FRANK RIJKAARD BLAMES CARDS
The Dutch team got off to a poor start in Euro 2000 and manager Frank Rijkaard needed to find out what was going wrong, fast. Rijkaard blamed the players being involved in too many card games saying: "My players prefer to play cards and have been taking little interest in what is happening elsewhere and that has disappointed me." Bunch of queens.
8) UKRAINE BLAME FROGS
The Ukrainian football team blamed a 4-0 defeat to Spain at 2006 World Cup on frogs. No, not the French, but poor amphibians took the blame for a shocking display after the little blighters reportedly kept the players awake all night, croaking outside their bedroom windows. Player Valdislav Vashchuk said: "Because of the frogs' croaking we hardly got a wink of sleep," before adding that "we all agreed we would take some sticks and go and hunt them". Now that's what you call hopping mad.
9) ITALY BLAME THEIR FEET
Euro 2004 was eventful: Greece won, Milan Baros was leading goalscorer and the Italians were absolute crud. For a team that would be crowned World Cup winners just two years later, what could have been their excuse for a dismal 0-0 draw with Denmark? Francesco Totti blamed his boots: "It was like having your feet on boiling sand." Christian Panucci blamed his socks: "The thread that these socks were made with is too rough." Meanwhile, lovable rogue Gennaro Gattuso said: "My foot was smushed." We're guessing that's a combination of smashed and crushed, or just plain nonsense.
10) Alex Ferguson BLAMES HIS BOWELS
Yes we may have mentioned Sir Alex already, but he does love a good excuse. If it wasn't the referee, the 'bumpy' pitch or the sun being in the goalkeeper's eyes, it was the jet-lag the players were suffering from a flight from Fenerbache three days earlier (5-0 defeat to Newcastle in 1996). But Fergie's most impressive excuse came off the pitch. Caught speeding in 1999, Fergie's appeal to the court was that he had "severe diarrhoea" and therefore was rushing home to the toilet. He got away with no charges, but may have left some skidmarks.