The worst Survivor Series teams ever
This week Raw and SmackDown finally confirmed their line-ups for next week’s annual Survivor Series pay-per-view, with each thankfully filled with some of the company’s biggest stars.
However, that hasn’t always been the case down the years and since the pay-per-view’s inception in 1987 it has seen some of the craziest, most bizarre and honestly worst combinations ever seen in a WWE ring. So having counted down Survivor Series’ best ten teams last week, we’ve flipped the theme and now give you the eight very worst that Survivor Series has ever had to offer.
8
The Truth Commission
(The Jackyl, The Interrogator, Sniper and Recon)
Survivor Series 1997
As already fully paid-up members of Hall of Shame, there’s no better place to start then this camouflaged crew of misfits. As the Truth Commission these four GI Joe knock-offs weren’t just a Survivor Series team but a truly terrible stable as well, that didn’t last very long in the WWF. Looking more like an tribute act to Cammy from Steet Fighter and including the future Bull Buchanan and Kurgan this elimination win over the equally naff Disciples of Apocalypse was their only WWF highlight.
7
Spirit Squad
(Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey)
Survivor Series 2006
While it’s been fun seeing the recent nostalgic return of two of the original Spirit Squad members, it doesn’t mask how bad they were as a stable and as a team at 2006’s Survivor Series. These male cheerleaders - yes male cheerleaders - somehow got to share the ring with Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaugher, Dusty Rhodes and Ron Simmons on this card and not even the future Dolph Ziggler could pretend they could hang in there with the WWE legends. Flair thankfully saw off perhaps WWE’s most annoying group by leaving as the sole survivor.
6
Colonel Mustafa, The Berzerker, Skinner and Hercules
Survivor Series 1991
What do you get in of you combine a Viking, a crocodile hunter, a mythological character and an Iraqi war sympathizer? We love the 90s, we really do, and this ridiculous foursome takes the biscuit when it comes to showing off the height of WWE’s most cringe-worthy gimmicks. This foursome took on the team of Sgt. Slaughter, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, The Matador and Texas Tornado and lost without reply. No wonder two of them are already in our Hall of Shame.
5
Royal Family/ Clowns Are Us
(Jerry Lawler, Sleazy, Queasy, Cheesy/Doink, Dink, Pink, Wink)
Survivor Series 1994
We have nothing against seeing the small guys in a wrestling ring, but the sight of four mini-clowns and four mini-kings was WWF and it’s 90s OTT gimmicks at it’s very worst. Doink has debuted in WWF as a brilliantly villainous clown, but since turning face WWF had turned up the volume on he’s cartoon character. Thus saw the introduction of Dink, Pink and Wink during his feud with Jerry Lawler in 1994. Lawler’s retort was to recruit his own gang of mini men; Cheesy, Queesy and Sleazy who triumphed over their opponents by eliminating the whole team during this 'classic' encounter.
4
Mean Street Posse
(Rodney, Pete Gas, Joey Abs and The British Bulldog)
Survivor Series 1999
During the Bulldog’s rather sole destroying ‘jeans’ phase, he somehow got lumped-in together with Shane McMahon’s childhood buddies The Mean Street Posse for this elmination battle. Thankfully Davey Boy was spared the embarrassment of matching sweater-vests and slacks but it didn’t help him and his pals from the ‘mean streets of Greenwich’ overcome the ‘might’ of Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel and Steve Blackman. With Venis and the world’s strongest man disposing of the Manchester man to win the match for their team.
3
Kai En Tai, The Blue Meanie and Big Show
Survivor Series 1999
At the same event and during what was possibly one of the Attitude era’s most distasteful angles, Big Show faced a team headed-up by rival The Big Boss Man. Boss man had most recently angered the giant by crashing his father’s funeral and dragging his casket away on the back of a car - and Show was out for revenge. So much so he refused any partners, and so having been assigned Kai En Tai and The Blue Meanie, he took out his own team backstage before disposing of Mideon, Prince Albert and Viscera single-handedly in the match. Leaving only the Boss Man, who hightailed it out of the arena before show could get his hands on him.
2
The Four Doinks
(Bushwhackers and Men on a Mission)
Survivor Series 1993
History tells us clowns can be very scary and as previously mentioned when Doink the Clown debuted he certainly put some frighteners up the WWF fans. However, perhaps even scarier was the sight of these two over-the-top teams decked out in Doink’s clown get-up for this 1993 bout against Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger and The Headshrinkers - also no oil painting themselves. Doink decided to pay mind games with rival Bigelow and no-showed; leaving the sight of two New Zealand face-lickers and bubblegum hip-hop’s finest decked up in clown make-up to represent his team, and somehow claim a clean sweep win.
1
Shawn Michaels And His Knights
Survivor Series 1993
1993 wasn’t Survivor Series’ finest moment, and so it comes down to another foursome at that year’s event who were in our humble opinion the pay-per-view’s very worst. Firstly because it wasn’t supposed to be Shawn heading up this motley crew, but Jerry Lawler who was in the midst of a heated rivalry with the Hart family. However, as Lawler had legal issues to attend to, Bret’s long-term rival Shawn Micheals captained at team that consisted of three randomly coloured ‘knights’ against Bret, Owen, Bruce and Keith Hart. Unfortunately the knights looked more like a collection of generic Mexican wrestlers who’d got their Nan to cobble together a wrestling outfit, even if under the masks were the likes of Barry Horowitz and Greg Valentine. It’s no surprise that the Hart Family made light-work of the opponents, with only Owen Hart not standing tall at the end.
We’ll be previewing Survivor Series and all it’s go home shows on next week’s Gorilla Position. Download the show for free an follow us